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Things that will happen when you start to become an ironman

  1. You will take more showers than you thought humanly possible
  2. You will be able to get ready from above shower in rocket speed time
  3. You will hardly ever take above shower in your own home
  4. If you do take above shower in your own home, you will never wash your hair in your own home
  5. You will start to wonder why you have shampoo in your bathroom when it should be in your swimming bag
  6. Food will lose all taste and enjoyment and fun and become human petrol.
  7. Even though you don’t really care what food now tastes like, you will end up eating it. All the time.
  8. Your colleagues will think you have got some kind of tape worm, as you chomp your way through morning snack number 5.
  9. You will wonder what normal skin smells like, as eau de chlorine becomes your staple scent
  10. You start wondering if you could legitimately cycle to various social functions, despite them being at least 30 miles away.
  11. The only thing that stops you cycling to above social function is the fact that you’d arrive an hour and a half late
  12. You’ll still cycle home though
  13. Even if it’s raining
  14. Swim. Bike. Run. EAT. It’s pretty much all you think about.
  15. Or talk about.
  16. But no one cares.
  17. You quickly realise you don’t care that no one cares.
  18. They wouldn’t understand anyway.
  19. They should though. Everyone should do triathlon, really.
  20. You crave coffee. You crave water. You crave pretty much everything that could hydrating. Apart from yet another shower.
  21. There becomes no other hairstyle than a ponytail
  22. Which just gets longer and longer because as if you’d have time to get a hair cut
  23. But you’re so tempted to just cut it all off. It’s well annoying to brush all the time.
  24. You wish there was a badge that said “I had a great weekend thanks. I just cycled, ran and ate. Like last weekend. And next weekend. For the next 5 months”.
  25. You wonder why stairs are such f&*king hard work when you can brick well good.
  26. You refer to a brick session as a brick session, and expect everyone to know what you’re on about
  27. When they don’t, you do an eye roll and eat another snack
  28. It’s incredibly confusing when people start talking about Marvel comic superheroes.
  29. Your wages might as well just go straight to Wiggle.
  30. And Tesco. Or Sainsbury’s. Or the little shop at work.
  31. You start to wonder if your arms are actually getting more muscular because of brushing your hair so much
  32. Or from lifting all the snacks to your mouth.
  33. But you wouldn’t change a thing. because you LOVE TO TRI.
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3 thoughts on “Things that will happen when you start to become an ironman

  1. it must be so tempting to cut your hair off, it’s at time like this that I’m actually pleased to be a balding man 🙂 Bet you can’t wait to be doing some of your swimming in fresh water.

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